lessWendy

I am just getting over an illness I’ve had for a few days. I’m still a little dizzy and dehydrated but other than that I think I’ll be getting back to work tomorrow. I am ashamed to say that I am one of the biggest babies when it comes to being sick. Thank you to my husband Shawn for coming home early and taking care of me.

I have not been this sick in awhile. At one point  today I was laying on the couch and began to feel sorry for myself and tears welled up in my eyes. I saw my cell phone laying next to me and although there was nothing she could do for me at the time I called none other than my mother and began sobbing to her. Just hearing her voice made me feel just a little bit better.

Reading God’s word can make me feel this way sometimes. I’ll read something that cuts or hurts or is so raw I can’t stomach myself. I’ll think of how poorly I reacted to a certain situation or my ever-demanding selfishness and think of all of the sins that I have committed and I want to scream “How can He love….this.” But then I hear it…that small gentle voice as sweet as honey…and I start to feel just a little bit better.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34165

Life is so nuts right now. Between doing extra work at my job, church, and normal everyday chores I think I am meeting myself coming and going. I am hoping it will slow down after this Saturday or at least  for awhile. I only have one more wedding and then a two month break. This wedding may get a little crazy too…

During this busy time I have been wanting to tell people who are used to me being relaxed and a little witty… “Look, I don’t have time to be witty”….”wit is not on my list of things to do today.” It’s gotten to the point where I have to schedule lazy time. “Sorry, Bob, I can’t meet you for lunch I’m booked with lazy at that same time.”

Not been reading the B-I-B-L-E as much either (insert excuse here). Don’t want to get into that habit. So I need to schedule it or I know myself well enough that I won’t do it and no one wants to see fake Christian Wendy again…I just shivered.

Someone said “Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic”. I love sarcasm. I watch episodes of Seinfeld and wish I had an apartment in New York. I like “getting it”. I’ve been with people who are completely opposite of sarcastic. They tend to be very literal with what I’m saying to them. It gets awkward when I have to point out that I was being sarcastic. That’s not to say I wouldn’t hang out with this person or that we couldn’t end up being friends, however, I don’t think I could be close friends with someone who wasn’t sarcastic.

So why am I bringing this up? Well, I didn’t realize it till recently. I always knew I felt more comfortable with people who had a certain personality. Those who are quick to make fun of me and even more of themselves. Someone who can point out something obsessive that I do or say and make a joke out of it. What that says to me is that they realize a “flaw” that I have and they love me anyway.

I’m just putting it out there….so I’m ending with a line from Seinfeld taken from “The Chinese Restaurant” episode: “I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?”….

1 Timothy 1:5-7

5-7 The whole point of what we’re urging is simply love—love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. Those who fail to keep to this point soon wander off into cul-de-sacs of gossip. They set themselves up as experts on religious issues, but haven’t the remotest idea of what they’re holding forth with such imposing eloquence.

But what these verses are saying is exactly what I am not doing. My love can be contaminated, self-fulfilled, counterfeit, and closed to God.

I don’t want to love the person who has hurt me, is rude to me, lied to me, misled me. I want them to know how wrong they are and that this time they have messed with the wrong lady. I want an apology and sweet revenge and for them to suffer and to come crawling on their knees asking for my forgiveness. Let me check my schedule…ding…not giving out forgiveness till Wednesday…NEXT!

That’s just it. It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus. Loving others despite what they do to me is exactly who He is. For my life to reflect Christ I need to love….

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Wednesday I went and got the scan done on the thyroid and thankfully no nodules were found. After the scan the doctor at the hospital checked my neck and there appeared to be no obvious signs of enlargement…aka “goiter“.  She thought I wouldn’t receive any type of results from my family doctor until Monday which bummed me out because I want everything 2 days ago.

That afternoon, however, I received a call from my doctor’s office and I officially had hypothyroidism. The doctor called in a prescription of Levothyroxine and I am on 50 mcg of it.

Thank you for all of your prayers and I’ll keep you posted on how the medicine is doing and how it is affecting my life and weight loss…:-)

Have you ever went to the doctor for one issue and it turns out you have a few more? I went to an appointment last Wednesday and  actually had a high blood pressure reading. Now mind you I am only 35 and I have NEVER even once had a high reading. Nothing extreme but it concerned my doctor so she asked that I take my blood pressure for a week and call in the results. Not a problem. She also ran some blood tests. Again, no problem. The nurse calls on Thursday to let me know the results. First thing is my cholesterol is 460! Normal levels should be no more than 200. Second thing is my thyroid isn’t working properly….to be exact I have Hypothyroidism.

I hop on the Internet to do some research and find out a lot of the problems I have been dealing with could very well be the symptoms of this disease including the high cholesterol reading, fatigue, weight gain, memory issues and constipation. I go tomorrow to pop a radioactive capsule and within 24 hours will have my thyroid scanned to check for nodules. I am very hopeful about this and ask if you could squeeze in a little prayer that everything goes smoothly. I will blog about the results the end of this week.

The java is killing my diet. My favorite drink you ask?  White Chocolate Mocha from Java Haute (sorry no web site available). It tastes like love in a 20 oz. Anytime you feel the need to suck up to me…that would be your first stop.  Good day, bad day doesn’t matter. It may also be killing my lunch budget. I’ll eat one small cheeseburger and a water some days just to have it in the morning. Right now I don’t have a solution to this problem…I may not want one.  I think I just need to confess…

What is 206? An even number, the area code of Seattle, WA, name of a club in Wisconsin, the school district of Alexandria, MN and my current weight. When I began this blog I was another even number 210. If you’re superior in math like me you will know that comes to a total weight loss of 4 pounds.

A few simple things I have done is drink more water, limit the number of the lattes I drink, and incorporate more salads into my diet. So what have I not done that could of helped is you got it…exercise. I almost forgot how to type the word let alone do it. So what does it take? Dedication? Motivation? How do I go from hating it to loving it?

So what about you? Do you hate exercise but do it anyway? How do you do that?

I hate it. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. It puts a knot in my stomach and makes me want to say really bad words that I don’t use anymore…or as much.

It comes to the point where I have to grieve over all the old stuff. Friendships ending or changing, a new work schedule, getting a new car, moving into a new house, an old restaurant closing, my bed in a new position. I try to be the type of person who is smooth like butta but I’m actually hard like margarine.

So how am I to deal efficiently with change? Accept it. Easy huh? Well as soon as that happens it tends to get easier. Most of time I can look back on a situation and know that if the change had not occurred then something good would not have happened. Unfortunately, that never happens soon enough.

When I first hear of a change I want to resist it and figure out how to keep it from happening. I obsess over it and want to have meetings with people who the change effects and hopefully those in the meeting will agree with me that IT SUCKS! But you know what…the change still happens.

I’m going through a change right now and it does suck. I want to go to safe places and mourn the change and stay with safe people that love and accept me for who I am. At the same time I know that I have to give this to God and let him have the control that I want but know that I don’t have.

So, pray for me and the others and know that we are one in Christ and will ultimately grow stronger through it and that it will prepare us for the next change to come.